im gonna need to see ur license and regist- oh gosh mr washington i apologize have a nice day sir
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today my teacher said “take out something to do when you’re done with your quiz” and some kid turned around to the girl next to him after he finished and said “can i take you out so i can do you?” my teachers face waS SO RED I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA SHIT HIMSELF.
"Kill-sin, Wrestling-with-the-Devil, dinner’s ready!"
"Describe college in three words."
- That’s due TODAY?
- No Sleep November
- things fall apart
- WHERE DREAMS DIE
- Four year distraction
- HA HA NO
- study cram fail
- Paying for hell
- THIS SHIT CRAY
-fuck this shit
-i am done
the only 6 pack i need
if you gon’ tell me diamonds reflect and do not shine when you hear that rihanna song i ain’t takin you nowhere. nowhere.
thank you to all the followers who give me that 1 note on my text posts
*grabs my gameboy color and a kit-kat* goodbye mom and dad i’m moving out
This man used a cake to resign from his job at an airport so he could focus on making cakes.
And the world was good again.
I NEED TO HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW LIKE RIGHT NOW WHY IS NOBODY HAVING SEX WITH ME
*hands u a bible*
MY URL IS LITERALLY CUTEJEWISHGIRL TRY AGAIN
*hands u a dreidel*
i think rupert grint is the only one who truly understand the meaning of being a celebrity
- he bought an ice cream truck
- he has two donkeys named shakespeare and pandora (and minature pigs!)
- he built a mini ice-rink
- a Mini fitted with special Lamborghini doors
- a hovercraft
- he’s got unicycles and banjos
- and he bought a coin-operated fairground fortune-telling machine
tell me he isn’t living the life
“Oh, you’re straight? So is spaghetti until it gets hot. ;)”
Are you suggesting we boil heterosexuals
This is the chemical formula for love:
dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin.
It can be easily manufactured in a lab, but overdosing on any of them can cause schizophrenia, extreme paranoia, and insanity.
Let that sink in.
you could call it a chemical romance
what’s the chemical formula for tears?